vampireapologist:

imagine trying out a super risky outfit ur not sure is gonna land well and on your way to the party you fall into a bog and become a bog body and in like 3,000 years they pull you out in like a pink mesh bathing suit with an applique that says “barbie girl” on the front tucked in as a body suit to a pair of track shorts that say “your card was declined” on the ass and a pair of elevated 90s gel sandals with a hitclips clipped to the strap with one cartridge (60 seconds of an nsync song) and they reconstruct you in a museum and tell the public that’s how people dressed

mrmattasourus:
“ Definitely report that.
”

shizaya-incorrectquotes:

[doing school project]

Shizuo: It’s time for truce flea. We’re partners now. Ride or die!

Izaya: I don’t want to die. So of course, I’d totally ride you.

Shizuo: …What?

Izaya: I’ll ride with you.

Shizuo: O-oh.

dndogs:

other people’s puppies when you offer them your hand: *gives you their paw*

my puppy in the same scenario:

akutagawaprize:
““Heartbeats accelerating in Chapter 70 of BSD.
” ”

tredlocity:

tredlocity:

i hate that some sites sell our personal data to corporations. we should cut the middleman and sell them OURSELVES.

“Hello, Amazon? Hi, I like garlic bread and Spongebob. That’ll be $20.”